There Goes The Canon
by DesertChocolate
Summary: Rewrite. Dumbledore was always a little bit mad. So when a Muggle man from another world drops in his office with knowledge he shouldn't have, he chooses the mad thing to do. Give him a job as the DA professor instead of Umbridge. Made to kill Mary Sues!
1. Chapter 1

Dumbledore is a man that is universally recognized as who was hard to faze. Through the years he had seen the shy children that he took into his school grow from tiny little first years, into some of the powerful, and sometimes terrible, wizards of their age. He watched as one of the most powerful of his former students, a man so fearsome his very name was never spoken, be thwarted again and again by a young schoolboy. He had even seen McGonagall dancing on a table half-naked with an embarrassed Hagrid, something that made the dropping off of the infant Harry awkward for the two of them (After the defeat of Voldemort,_everybody _got drunk).

But nothing so strange as this.

He had been sitting in his office, wondering what to do. He could currently find no one willing to take over as a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for his school, and found himself in desperate straights. Any other time he wouldn't have worried as much. But any other time he wouldn't have to worry about the likes of Dolores Umbridge coming into Hogwarts for the first time since she had actually attended.

The toady little woman was using the backing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-Two to force her way into _his _school. He already knew what would happen. The silly woman would come into _his _school, and teach _his _students exactly what she felt was necessary. Which, considering her limited skills in magic, would be little to nothing useful unless she felt it would give her power over the students. And while she was at it she would try to force herself into every facet of the school, just looking for a reason to tell Fudge about some little thing that would get Dumbledore to surrender his position as headmaster.

"The little bitch can try."

Fawkes gave Dumbledore a startled look at the expletive from his perch next to Dumbledore's desk, as did several headmasters paintings. He gave a small smile.

"Umbridge."

With that single word all was well. They each gave him sympathetic look before going back to sleep, or at least decently pretending to.

In all honesty though, Dolores was nothing more than a distraction. The woman would be annoying sure. But Voldemort was still on the horizon, spreading his lies and hatred through magical Britain. Umbridge wouldn't be good for Hogwarts, sure. But Voldemort would rain down hell on the castle if he could. This put the toad-like woman firmly in the 'unimportant' category most days, a problem to deal with when it came.

But he had time today. The Order had their... orders. The teachers were back from their vacations (Except for Professor Binns, who spent everyday of summer teaching in his classroom as if every student was there. No one had the heart to tell the senile ghost otherwise) For the first time in a long time, Albus Dumbledore was free. So he spent the time thinking on how to deal with the upstart that was planning to dominate his school.

Was it a bad idea to spend his first real free time in five years thinking about more work? Probably. But he was old, and damnit he had earned the right to a few bad ideas!

And as he stood there, aimlessly going from plotting ways to keep Umbridge out of school, to way he could creatively move her out of the picture entirely (No, no, there is no slave trade in the world who accept _that _on their doorstep) a boy suddenly appeared on the floor just in front of his desk.

More accurately he appeared in the air and crashed on his head.

"OW! What the fu...OWWW!" The boy rolled around on the floor in utter pain. Dumbledore had his wand in his hand before he even landed, more then ready for any attack the boy would make.

Though he wasn't really a boy Dumbledore realized. He was more a young man, maybe over twenty, and a little under six feet tall. He wiped black hair, unruly enough to put even Harry Potters impossible mop to shame out his eyes. When he looked around the room there was utter confusion on his face.

Dumbledore relaxed as he took note of several things the boy was missing that would point to him being an assassin.

For one thing, he was dressed in blue pajamas, and was half-covered in a blanket, which meant he had probably been sleeping before he had come here. For another he had come in with almost no sound, and not only was it impossible to apparate silently, the powerful magic within Hogwarts kept all but House Elves from using such magic within the school. And last, he had absolutely no magic in him.

The boy was a Muggle.

Dumbledore had no idea how he had gotten into the school, but it was rather easy to fix. A simple Memory Charm and-

"Dumbledore?"

He froze. The intruder, in a moment of complete impossibility, knew who he was. And apparently his knowledge wasn't limited as he turned to the phoenix on the perch next to the desk.

"Fawkes?" The little bird looked more then ready to fall to the ground in surprise.

"What the hell kind of-" He left the rest of his words unsaid, simply staring around in bewilderment. He groaned and grabbed his head once more. "Oh man. No more _Order of Phoenix_ before bed."

That was more then enough. The boy was lifted of the ground by an invisible force. When he turned his head Dumbledore was lifting him up with an unspoken _wingardium leviosa _and giving him a measured look, simply taking in what he saw before him before speaking.

"How do you know our names? I can tell you're not a wizard, so how on earth do you know of us?"

The response he got was unexpected. "Pinch me."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, completely perplexed. "Pinch you?"

"Yeah. I'd pinch myself to see if this was a dream, but..." The boy shrugged helplessly. "I don't like pain."

"And why would you think this is a dream?" Said an increasingly perplexed Dumbledore.

"Because apparently one of the most famous fictional characters of all time is standing before me asking me why I think I'm having a dream."

In some deep part of his mind, Dumbledore wondered if Harry was spreading whatever it was that attracted weirdness to the bespectacled boy...


	2. Chapter 2

Privet Drive was actually a rather charming place. Quaint little parks, clean streets, well maintained lawns. All in all, a rather normal looking neighborhood, if a little hot on that summer day, with once green lawns and plants now starved for water. But one only had to ask to learn that wasn't the case.

Owls flew and hunted in the neighborhood, despite the fact the town wasn't known for owls of any kind. Street light sometimes exploded for no reason. Menacing men in dark robes sometimes prowled around, only to turn and leave with a strange look on their face, as if they had been told off by their mother. But the people who lived on Privet Drive had grown to ignore the strangeness with a determination that rivaled most veterans of war. As far as they were concerned they lived in a normal neighborhood in suburban Britain, and they took every pain to make it seem that way.

So they chose to ignore the young man standing brazenly in the middle of the street. In complete defiance of the heat that baked the streets, he wore a black leather duster that extended to his knees over a white shirt and blue jeans. His black hair waved merrily in the breeze. The sleeves of his jacket were rolled up, revealing well muscled arms. A halfway manic grin on his tanned face helped to keep the neighbors from asking questions. He looked around for a moment, and the grin on his face started to falter.

"Wow. This place is... boring." If anything his American accent did more to put the neighbors off then his appearance. A frown replaced the grin. "You'd think this place would look cooler," He took a whiff of the air and shrugged. "Smells nice at least."

With that odd mark of approval he set off. As he walked down the street he counted the address' of each house, taking note when he passed by a park. Eventually he began to count each number out loud with rising excitement. "Number 7... 6... 5... 4!" He grinned as he stared at the home of the Dursleys. If the other houses were clean, the Dursleys were Anti-bacterial. It was almost sickening how clean it was. It made him feel dirty just looking at it.

Sorry just... so clean.

The young man took a post across the street from the house and sat down to wait. Soon enough the evening news could be heard floating through the window to the living room. He looked at the large hydrangea bush in front of said window and smiled a little.

"Almost time." At the same time a voice filtered through the window, carried by a loud and rather boorish voice.

"Glad to see the boy's stopped trying to butt in. Where is he anyway?"*

The young man grinned a much smaller voice could barely be heard responded. This time his grin was almost feral as he growled. _"Vernon."_

He ignored the rest of what was said to look around. A elderly woman wearing a hairnet and slippers walked down the street. As she passed her eyes crossed over the young man, and a look of shock passed over her face. Then she frowned viciously and went to him.

As soon as she was close she viciously whispered, "What are you doing here Mikeal?"

"Well hello Arabella! What brings you here?" Out of the corner of his eye the now named Mikeal could see a glint almost like one off a pair of glasses come from the bush in front of the Dursleys, and his grin widened once more if that was even possible.

Mrs. Figg brought his attention back to her. "I live here you ne'er-do-well! Now tell me what you are doing here!"

"Oh you know," He shrugged noncommittally. "Taking in the local flavor and all that."

"Oh is that it. 'Taking in the local flavor.' Well that nice isn't it. _Are you bloody insane?_" Her face went a red that on anyone else would have terrifying. On Mrs' Figg it was actually fairly funny.

"... Can I get back to you on that?"

At this she nearly exploded. "You were to stay at Grimmauld Place! Dumbledore said-"

"Arabella, it will be fine. Dumbledore knows about it. He actually approves. I don't stay there because I have to you know."

At this the fire left her eyes. "Oh. Oh. I apologize. I did not realize-"

"Its cool."

Then she realized something. "But why are you just hanging out in front of the home of Harry-!"

She was cut off when he put a finger to her lips. "Wait."

"Mhmhm?"

He listened for a moment. From the window to the Dursley home he could barely hear the news report. "-has learned to water-ski! Mary Dorkins went to find out-"

Mikeal was moving before the report could even finish. Taking his finger off of Mrs. Figg's lips he reached into a pocket and grabbed a cell phone. He took a moment to look at the clunky device. "The worst part of living in 1996. Can't wait for the iPhone." He took a moment to turn to Mrs. Figg who was looking at the cell phone in confusion. "If you're into the whole stock-trading thing buy a shit-ton in Apple. They're gonna be worth a fortune soon." With the bit of sage advice he turned back to the phone in his hand and dialed a number. After a bit of waiting the phone picked up.

"Hey, Arthur? Its Mikeal. We're going to need a evac soon," He looked up as a sudden crack sounded in the neighborhood; A cat ran out from under a car as he spoke, nudging briefly against Mrs. Figg before running away. "You have about six hours. Let Dumbledore its time to run interference," He smiled at the response on the other end. "Got it. Tell the twins I'll see them soon."

Meanwhile Arabella was staring at where the crack had come from with nothing but rage in her eyes. "Damn that scoundrel. Why did he leave?"

Mikeal looked at her in surprise even while someone on the other end of his cell spoke. "You mean you don't know?" Worry cracked his appearance when she shook her head. He continued the conversation. "Arthur. Let Dumbledore know I already screwed up. The time-lines dissolving. He'll know what that means."

He hung and looked up in time to see a young man wearing spectacles being throttled by a simply enormous man. A part of Mikeal knew he should simply let it be. There would be no gain in messing with the order of things. Another part saw a fifteen year old being choked by a grown man, and he had to resist running over and showing the man why he should never hurt kids.

Then Vernon's hands flew from Harry's neck. Harry stumbled back and feel over the hydrangea plant. He looked around as the neighbors stared from their windows, a frown on his face when he saw Mikeal and Mrs. Figg standing together. Vernon noticed the stares and scrambled to save face.

Mikeal couldn't resist. "If you want to sleep with your wife Vernon, try not to make such a spectacle of it! In the living room! For shame." He clucked his tongue dramatically, and had to resist laughing as Vernon's face went from purple to pale white.

Several neighbors looked positively gleeful at the turn of events. It was rare to have such juicy gossip simply drop in their laps. That the news probably wasn't true was of no consequence.

A rail-thin woman's face popped over Vernon's face, the flushed look on her face doing nothing to abate the new rumors. Harry looked at the statue-still Vernon, and choose to put the new distraction to good use, running for it. A slight grin on Harry's face could be seen as the boy booked it with Vernon snapping out it in time to yell at his back.

"**Boy! Get back here!**" No one was surprised when Harry kept running. Mikeal looked after him with that same grin on his face.

"Woo! Kids got some legs. Come Arabella, we've got to follow him."

"What," Mrs. Figg blinked and tried to follow as the young man started off. "Mikeal hold on! Why in the name of Merlin are we following him?"

"First, because the kid owes me. If I hadn't messed with his fat-ass uncle he would have some questions to deal with. So I figure I'll make him pay the debt. Second, so that he has an extra witness."

"Witness? Witness to what? And slow down you bloody madman, I'm not as young as I used to be!"

"Ah don't sell yourself short. You've got some fight in ya yet," A savage grin came to his lips. "At least you better. I plan for us unmagical folk to do some big things before this is all over."

"Will you bloody well answer the question! Witness to what?" She became positively infuriated at the smile on his face, and began to wind up with the bag full of cat food she was holding. "You talk, or so help me I'll-"

"Relax Arabella. Just tell me where that play park near Mongolia Road is, please?"

She blinked. "Don't you mean Magnolia Road?"

She gained a small amount of pleasure at see that manic grin of his falter for the first time. "Yeah. Yeah I guess so."

As she lead him to it she could swear she heard him mutter something about 'freaking google correct engine in living form.'

She wasn't sure if that was an insult, but just in case.

**Clang!**

"Ow! Damnit you crazy bag lady!"

A while later Harry was following Dudley's gang up Magnolia Road. He hid in the shadow of a large lilac tree when the gang got to Magnolia Crescent and stopped to say their goodbyes. He had to hold back his disgust as the boys laughed at some kid they had apparently been bullying. Considering the last one had been ten years old, Harry wasn't that impressed.

After Dudley's friends left, Harry joined him. The two opposites walked off, trading barbs all the way. Unbeknownst to them, Mikeal and Mrs. Figg had been watching the whole thing. It was the place they had watched it from that drove Mrs. Figg nuts.

"You are a bloody madman."

"You already said that."

"Well I'll say it again. You. Are. A bloody. Madman."

"I don't get why you're so upset."

"WE HID UP A TREE! A DAMN TREE!"

"Well I didn't want to be seen, and the tree had a good view."

She glared at his back as the discretely followed the still bickering cousins. "You're doing this on purpose."

"You hit me with a bag. Now we're even. Game tie. Match over. Also, you should workout. You're a terrible tree climber"

She was about to lose her composure and hit him again, when a serious look came to Mikeal's face. "You feel that?"

She frowned and took a moment to what he was talking about. Then the lights went out.

"Wha- What?" It had happened so suddenly. One moment the stars, the moon, and the lamps all long the streets and alleys had illuminated the night. And then-

"Total, impenetrable, silent darkness," Mikeal was serious now, his voice ringing out in the darkness. "We need to get to those kids."

"Why? What just-" Mrs. Figg shuddered. The lukewarm evening had become cold as the deepest winter and her thin bathrobe proved little protection. Every sound that had permeated the night air had gone dead. And all around there was a feeling. As though all the good things in the world had gone, and would never come again.

"What say we- and call me cliché if ya want, but it has to be said- shed some light on the situation?" A sharp crack snapped the air, and burst of flame illuminated the night. Mikeal lifted up the now see-able flare and stared into the darkness. He turned to Mrs. Figg, face now completely serious.

"Dementors. But you already knew that."

"... Yes. You're right."

Mikeal smiled sadly and began walking once more. "And right now us unmagical folk can't do anything to help. Harry is on his own."

"Then why are we still going?" Mrs. Figg said softly.

Mikeal was silent for a moment. Just before they came to an alleyway with garage doors that could barely be seen in the light of the flare he spoke. "Because I can't stand by. I can't just stand aside and hope that someone else will save me." He frowned. "A month ago Harry was a fictional character to me. Now though? He not just someone from a story. He's a scared kid who spent years with no one to back him up. He's been forced into a war that he should never been involved in, by people who should have left him out of it."

They turned into the alleyway just in time to see a white ethereal stag smash into something neither Mikeal or Mrs. Figg could see, throwing it into the night. As the stag disappeared, Harry stared at the two of them, and hurriedly tried to hide his wand.

With that Mrs. Figg snapped out of her daze. "Don't put it away you idiot boy! I'm going to kill Mundungus Fletcher for leaving us like this!"

"Ya well, that will have to wait. He'll apparate back soon, so crack him a couple times on the head for me will you?" Mikeal said while he was kneeling down to examine Dudley.

A small grin passed over her face as Harry looked at the two in absolute confusion. "Well he deserves it for allowing this doesn't he? Dementors! Its a good thing you came along isn't it Mikeal."

"Well to be fair, I couldn't do anything. It was-"

"You're- you're _witches_?" Harry said, his face a picture of confusion.

"Actually she's a squib. I'm a muggle. Though we prefer unmagical thank you very much." Mikeal said calmly.

If anything this made Harry even more confused. But, showing more intelligence then Snape would ever credit him for, the bespectacled young man put the pieces together. "Then you were following me! And this Mundungus, he Disapparated in front of my house! Dumbledore was having me followed"

Mikeal snorted as he took a large bar of Hershey's from his pocket and leaned a still pale Dudley against a garage door nearby. "Of course you weren't followed. You didn't leave the Dursleys enough for that. You were watched."

"I don't bloody care!"

"Look, kid-" He stopped and looked at him for a moment. Harry simply stood and watched the two as Mikeal softened a little bit. Harry stood there, defiant and shaking with rage. His wand was still clenched in his fist, the wood creaking from the tight grip. Mikeal smiled then, looking into the fierce green eyes of the boy in front of him. "It really is nice to meet you Harry Potter."

"Anyways, like I was going to explain," Mikeal said, calmly turning back to Dudley. "Dumbledore was having you followed because he didn't want Voldemort," He ignored Mrs. Figg's dramatic wince. "doing the smart thing and killing you in your sleep. He didn't tell you, because your scar gives you a direct link to Voldemort. He was scared telling you that you were being followed, was the same as telling Voldemort. I told the old man he was being ridiculous, but was he going to believe me? Noooooo!" He said sarcastically as he gently opened Dudley's mouth, ignoring the shocked look on Harry's face. "After all its not like I know things I shouldn't right? Not the unmagical with knowledge of wizards. Not the guy who's been in the army eight years. Not the only guy who knows he's gay! No faith you know?"

"My scar is a direct link to Voldemort?" Harry could feel a cold sinking in his stomach as the implications of that began to sink in. Before he could work up a proper angst though, a sudden thought occurred to him.

"Dumbledore is gay?"

"Yeah, but no one really cares. Besides I doubt to many people think about it. The guys old enough to be your grandfathers grandfather, no one would like to imagine him having sex, ya know?"

Harry and Mrs. Figg turned a little green. "We know." They said in unison.

Mikeal began slowly feeding Dudley chocolate piece by piece, watching as life started to fill the large boy. "You all right kid?" The large boy blinked and stared at the American kneeling before him. After a moment he threw up, the vomit spilling onto his shirt. Mrs. Figg recoiled as Dudley looked back up, face pale white.

"I- I saw... I saw-"

"Yourself." Dudley nodded slowly. "Its all right," Mikeal clapped a hand on the boys shoulder and smiled gently. "I'll help you deal with it later. But the truth right now is we need to move. You ready?"

Dudley was still for a moment. Then, shakily, he began to stand up. He was almost to his feet when he stumbled, almost falling until Mikeal and Harry caught. Harry looked surprised to be there, but he helped Mikeal lift Dudley to his feet anyways, each of them lifting Dudley's arm over their shoulder. "Easy kid. Arabella, Harry, you guys will have to lead us back to Number 4. While we walk though," He looked over Dudley's shoulders to Harry. "I'll answer as many questions as I can while we walk. Even the stuff Dumbledore won't."

Harry almost dropped Dudley at that. Mrs. Figg looked askance at the American. "Mikeal! What do you-!"

"Shut up." Her mouth slammed shut at that. Mikeal's face was grim now. A growl came from his mouth before he began walking again, the other two forced to follow him and Dudley.

A part of Harry, a piece that had been cultivated over years of taking on the worst that life had to throw at him and come out swinging, recognized the look on Mikeal's face. Because for all that Harry wished otherwise, he was made to fight. Made to stand against the darkness that most adults feared even naming. It was the face of someone who had been to battle. Of someone who hadn't come out unscathed.

It was the same look on Harry's face after Cedric died.

"I need to tell him things Arabella. I was a soldier. I've seen to many people die because of intel that was kept from them. Almost died a couple of times," His face showed sadness. "Lost some of my friends. Even a few enemies." He was silent for moment. When he turned back to Harry he grinned, a feral, animal grin. "This time though? I'm holding the cards, and I plan on taking the house for all its worth." His face fell at the blank looks on the others. "Nobody here plays poker huh? Ah well. Anyways Harry, ask whatever you want."

Harry though about it for a moment as they walked. Finally, "Why does a muggle know about the wizarding world?"

Mikeal snorted at that. "Seriously? That your first question? Also, we prefer unmagical."

"Just bloody answer it."

"Fine. I know so much because I read a couple of books about it. I didn't think it was real until the day I was forcibly dropped into the middle of all of this. Quite a shock I'll tell you. There is more to the story, but that part is rather boring. Anyways, ask me another."

Harry frowned, but uncharacteristically decided to drop it for now. "All right. What is happening with Voldemort? What has Dumbledore been doing? Why haven't I heard anything in the Daily Prophet?"

"That's three questions, but they all lead to the same things don't they? Voldemort has been playing it smart. Keeping it under the radar, making sure that he recruits through his most trusted allies. Any killings are done outside of the wizard side of the world, with most unmagicals thinking some strange random virus has popped up. Luckily we have Snape on the inside, telling us whatever is safe."

"Snape! Why is Snape-"

"Relax Harry, you're dropping Dudley!" Indeed, Mikeal was now supporting the large boys weight almost single-handed, staggering as he walked.

"Sorry!" Harry quickly grabbed his share of the weight. Harry noticed then that Dudley seemed far more alert now, and wondered for a moment what he was thinking of all this.

"Anyways," Mikeal said dragging Harry's attention back to him. "The reason we can trust Snape. You've wondered since first year right?" Harry nodded eagerly. "The reason we can trust him is because during the First War Snape lost someone he cared about to Voldemort Someone he could have saved if had done the right thing. Its part of why he gets so pissed at you. You did the job he wanted for himself, the thing he wasn't strong enough for, at the age most kids are figuring out the mechanics of speech."

"It wasn't on purpose." Harry protested.

"Of course not. You were a kid. You got lucky." Harry blinked at that. After years being seen as the messiah for something he couldn't even remember, having someone who saw it his way was rather... off-putting.

"Anyways, having Snape spy on the enemy isn't the only thing we've been doing. Dumbledore brought back all the vigilantes that took on the forces of evil last time, including the Weasley Family, Mad-Eye, Remus, and Sirius. We also picked up a few new guys, Aurors mostly. The Aurors though, lead me to the next little problem."

"See the way things are in the Ministry of Magic, nobody will admit that Voldemort is even alive."

"What? Why the bloody hell not?"

"Because Fudge is an idiot," Mrs. Figg said bitterly. "He has it in his head that Dumbledore is using You-Know-Who as a ruse to usurp the Ministers position."

"That's- That's preposterous!" Harry said incredulously. "Everyone knows he wouldn't do that!"

"Of course. The problem of course," Mikeal said as they began to near Privet Drive. "Is that Fudge is scared. Scared that Dumbledore might, scared people will demand that he leave his position if they found out Voldemort cam back on his watch. And fear lead to mistakes. Which leaves us in the position of fighting a war on two fronts. We have the actual war against Voldemort, gathering supplies and reinforcements for the moment that the war spills out into the streets. And we have the public war, with the Ministry using the Daily Prophet to put you and Dumbledore in an bad light."

"What does that mean?"

"Well since you've been mostly skimming the Daily for news on Voldemort, you would've missed the part where they keep trying to discredit you. Using the earlier works of their esteemed colleague Rita Skeeter to make you look like a attention whore."

Harry almost lost his grip on Dudley again. Luckily Dudley had began to regain most of his strength, and began walking on his own, though he was still strangely silent.

"I never asked for attention! Its not like I wanted Voldemort to kill my-!"

"Before you get all angsty on me," Mikeal interrupted. "Can I remind you that I am one of many people who believe and trust you? I didn't put that stuff in there. So don't bit my head off about it."

Harry was silent. After a moment he let out a sad sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Its cool."

Dudley suddenly spoke up. "We're nearly there."

They all turned to him in surprise. The boy had apparently held on to the chocolate bar Mikeal had given him, and taken the time to scarf it down as soon as he had the strength to. Though he looked far better now, Harry could tell something had changed in Dudley. He seemed... smaller somehow. Less there. He still had his soul, Harry could tell. But whatever he had seen because of the Dementors had profoundly changed him.

When they looked back they could see the Dursley house a little ways off. Mikeal smiled. "On to the next battle then."

He turned to Mrs. Figg. "Arabella-"

She held up a hand to stop him. "I know boy. You think I got this age by being stupid? I'll leave you to take care of things."

Mikeal chuckled lightly at that before a thought crossed his mind. "Wait a minute. Where's-?"

A loud _crack_ snapped in the air, and a man appeared before them. He smelled like a bar, and ripped up overcoat over a suit that had seen better days. In his hands was a standard invisibility cloak, which seemed to constantly pull at as he took a moment to reorient himself. He looked at the little group with bloodshot eyes.

" 'Ello' Figgy and Mikeal. What-?" Mundungus Fletcher was cut off by a bag of cat food smashing into the side of his face. "Ouch! What the bloody-?"

"And where the hell have _you_ been!" Mrs. Figg raged. "We were attacked by Dementors you utter waste of a mothers love! The boys could have lost their souls!"

"Dementors?" Mundungus said blankly, rubbing where the bag had hit his head. "Blimey... Blimey Figgy I couldn't have known..."

"_Where were you?_"

"Well – uh, there were these cauldrons you see, and I was going to go and make a a mint of of them-"

"You mean to tell me," Mrs. Figg, her voice low and dangerous. The three men behind her shivered at the coldness being directed at a oblivious Mundungus. "You left the only person to defeat You-Know-Who unguarded, to try and make some _money?_"

"Um... Yes."

It was silent in the little neighborhood for a second. Then Mrs. Figg turned calmly to Mikeal.

"Mikeal dear? Would you mind taking the boys the rest of the way home?"

Mikeal saluted hastily. "Yes ma'am!" He grabbed the boys collars and dragged them away to the sound of something pounding flesh as Mundungus yelped.

"Gerroff, You old- Gaaaah! Why would you hit a man there?"

"Remember boys. A woman is a terrible thing to piss off."

Harry and Dudley only nodded numbly.

Authors Note: Well thats the first official chapter. I hope you liked it, since I took the time try and establish a few changes that have taken place in the main storyline.

Anyways, I figured I'd use this Authors note to explain what I'm trying to do with this story. It's the product of me getting pissed off at other "OC dropped into Harry Potter universe" stories. Mainly due to the fact that in ninety percent of them the original character becomes a wizard.

I hate that. There are some that are well done. But I hate most.

Why? Because I think that a regular human is pretty amazing on its own. That not to say that I think a normal person can kill a wizard with ease. But it can be done with enough ingenuity.

So I took the same formula, and set some rules.

1: The OC must be believable. Not someone in high school with inexplicible abilities. To that end, Mikeal is a trained soldier in his early twenties, with a few years fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. Someone with some experience in the ways and trials of war

2: Human limitations apply. For instance, Mikeal, like any muggle, can't see dementors without some kind of aid.

3: The timeline has to change because of the OC. This happened very early. If Mikeal hadn't been standing in front of Privet Drive, Mrs. Figg would have met Mundungus, and learned about just why he left. Mrs. Tribble, her cat, would have followed Harry on her behalf, and everything would have happened as in canon. Mikeal being there with some chocolate helped Dudley recover much faster then in the novel. So on and so forth.

4: Muggle and Magic tech needs to mix. This one has yet to be implemented.

5: The OC becomes DADA professor. Reason being that number one, I think it would be kickass for Umbridge to eventually face a group student holding assault rifles augmented with magic. In order for the students to learn actual spells, Mikeal will invite guest teachers to help out. Is it normal? No. But its fanfiction, and its fun.

6: Finally, like I said, have fun. I'm honestly writing this story so that people will enjoy it. So if you like it, I'd like to know.

That said, thanks for reading. I'll update next week with a new chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Just like in the original timeline, the hallway light was on to Privet Drive Number 4 when Harry and Dudley staggered up to the door. This time though, several things were vastly different. For one thing, Dudley was much healthier.

Oh, he wasn't a hundred percent fine. And that was understandable. Even Harry, with prior experience, and Mikeal, who hadn't been anywhere near the Dementors, were still shaken up. As it was, Dudley was staggering around like a drunken elephant, making simple walk from the sidewalk to the front door more of a chore then usual. The change was more then physical however.

When Dudley was caught by Harry after a particularly bad step, Dudley said, "Thank you."

From anyone else, simple words of courtesy. From Dudley Dursley to Harry Potter, a sign of the apocalypse. As Harry gaped at Dudley, the third member of the odd little group reached out and knocked on the door. Mikeal gave Dudley an appraising look before turning to Harry as someone could be seen coming to towards them through the window in the front door. He grinned slowly.

"Time for the show Harry."

The minute Petunia opened the door, Mikeal rushed in with all the enthusiasm of a Jehovah's Witness (No offense meant).

"Hello, lovely to meet Ma'am, I'm here to change your life in a strange and disruptive manner." The grin on his face gained an edge. "I guarantee you will hate."

"I-I-what?" Aunt Petunias face looked even more like equine then ever, lips pursed in confusion as she starred the strange grinning man standing before her, arms outstretched and speaking to her in an American accent. She looked around for a moment, trying to find some normality, only for Mikeal to reach behind himself and drag Harry and Dudley forward.

"Come gentleman. I believe we should sit down." She stared in confusion as he went into a doorway, a part of her dimly recognizing her son and nephew.

A moment later an embarrassed Mikeal walked out of the kitchen and entered another door, sighing in relief when he saw it was the living room this time.

"Figures the movies would be useless for maps." He gently sat Dudlet down as Vernon stared at the three in befudlment.

"What the- Who the bloody hell are you!"

"Shut up fat boy."

Vernon's face went positively purple at this. "FAT BOY! PETUNIA!"

The thin woman came in as Mikeal ignored them and Harry watched in interest. "Vernon I don't know who he is! He just barged in with Dudley and the boy-"

"The boy," Mikeal interrupted. "Is named Harry. He is your nephew, your flesh and blood, and I expect you to treat him as such."

"NOW SEE HERE-"

"NO, YOU SEE HERE!" Mikeal spun around and grabbed Vernon by his shirt, pushing the much larger man back against a wall. Vernon sputtered, trying to push the American off him. In response, Mikeal slapped the man on the face. "Shut up and listen. I know what you've done to Harry. I know the things you've told him, the things you've said about him. And I know that no seemed to take you aside and tell you, This. Is. Wrong."

Mikeal spun around, throwing Vernon as easily as a sack of potatoes. As the fat man landed on a chair, Mikeal came face to face with him, hands on the armrest.

"Well here it is Vernon Dursley. I'm here to tell your fat ass what never needed to be said." He pointed at a gobsmacked Harry Potter. "You lay another finger on Harry, speak badly about his parents, call him things he never deserved," Mikeal stood up and stared down, as Petunia looked on with wide eyes, hand on her mouth. "I will make sure the last thing you ever see will be horrible. And then I will take your eyes."

Vernon looked at him in fear. "You- you're one of them aren't you."

Mikeal scoffed. "What? A wizard? No no no fat man. I am completely unmagical." He grinned a feral grin. "I'm just a simple soldier."

There was a moment of silence. Mikeal turned towards Dudley, looked on with a strange look on his face. Petunia seemed to notice how pale he was, but before she stared on a full on my-poor-baby panic, Mikeal spoke to her.

"Get Dudley some hot chocolate please. We don't have long." Mikeal gave Vernon another dirty look before turning back to Petunia again who seemed frozen between helping her son and supporting her husband. "You need to hurry up. He's sick, and he needs some more chocolate to recover."

A bit of the old Dudley came back as he perked up at the thought of junk food as medicine. Petunia choose to listen this time and ran to get Dudley his sweet confection.

"What do I do?"

Mikeal turned to Harry in surprise. "You?" When Harry nodded Mikeal frowned. "Seriously? You're the guys save the world from the time he was eleven years old, and you expect me to give you chores?"

Harry blushed. A hint of anger was in his voice when he spoke again. "I just want to know whats happening next."

Mikeal softened a little at that. "Right. Yeah I get that." He looked at his watch before looking around the room.

"All right. I'll break it down. Petunia, you're going to want to hear this!" She poked her head in as Mikeal began to pace the room, speaking all the while.

"A little while ago, Dudley and Harry were attacked by supernatural creatures called Dementors. I already knew about, but choose not to intervene."

"WHAT?" For the first time in history, the Dursleys and Harry were in complete agreement. It was a landmark moment for them all.

"You knew about it, and you didn't do anything!" Harry raged. "We could have died!"

"No. I guarantee that even if I didn't exist, you would have made it out alive."

"And how the bloody hell do you know that! Dudley could have been killed!"

"I know it. Just like I know that soon an owl will be coming."

Right on cue, a screech owl flew in, dropped a package on Harry's lap, and flew out. They all stared out at where the owl had flown out of the room. Then they turned towards the parchment in Harry's lap. Then they looked up at Mikeal, who's grin was as large as ever.

"Told you."

Harry was about to open the envelope, only for Mikeal to grab it. Harry watched in horror as Mikeal flicked out a lighter, and without further ado, lit the thick paper on fire. "Why-"

"Don't worry. Just some bullshit expulsion papers. Nothing to worry about."

Harry did not look assured. "I've been expelled from Hogwarts?"

"Its just the Ministry, specifically a toady who's trying to stretch muscles she doesn't have. Dumbledore decides who does and doesn't enter Hogwarts. You really think he'll let them do that?"

Harry relaxed a little at the gentle smile on Mikeal's face.

"Why..." They all turned to Dudley, who had just taken his first sips of hot chocolate. "Why does she want him expelled?"

Mikeal answered as the others looked aghast. "Harry's a problem now. One they want out of the way. Fact is, the Ministry of Magics government is corrupt. And they'll do anything to shut down who make them look incompetent."

"Oh you bloody freaks are in _government _now, that explains-"

"Vernon shut up." Vernon was going to respond, face darkening with blood, only to pale when Mikeal glared at him. "Anyways, Harry's been making them look bad for awhile now. First he takes down a war criminal in his toddler years after the Ministry fails. Then he tells them that the same guy is coming back. The fact that happened on the Ministers notice not just once, but twice, makes them looks a bunch of idiots. So their best bet is to make Harry look unruly and insane."

"But I don't understand. Dementors work for the Ministry."

Shock spread through the room as they all turned to Petunia, who seemed as surprised as anyone at what she had said.

"Petunia. How do you know that?" Vernon said.

"Her sister was a witch. Of course she has some small knowledge on the wizarding world. Its no big deal," Mikeal said. "Anyways, it's true the creatures that attacked the boys work for the Ministry as bodyguards and prison wardens, but those monsters work for the highest bidder. Whatever gets them what they want, and that's as many souls as possible."

"Anyways were off topic. The plan is to wait until all Dumbledore can handle all of the political crap that will come out of this. Then the three of us will leave. We need to prepare for all that has happened."

"I'm sorry, did you say three?" Petunia said.

"Yep. I need to take both the boys."

Vernon would have gotten up. He would have raged and yelled, and Mikeal could have fulfilled his childhood dream of punching Vernon Dursley in the face. But he was held back a far more dangerous threat.

Petunias voice was ice death as she spoke. "And what," Harry shivered at the sheer rage in her voice. "Makes you think you're taking my boy?"

Mikeal resisted the urge to get ready for a fight. He held his fear towards the Mama Bear that Petunia had become to respond.

"With all that's happening, the Magical and Unmagical worlds will clash soon. Voldemort wants nothing more then complete dominance, and we need to be ready. Dudley will be safer with us. We'll teach him to fight the same threats Harry does."

"No."

Mikeal frowned. "No?"

"No. I will not let you take my boy anywhere near those _freaks_," Petunia was almost growling now. "_She_ used to talk about the things in that world. Telling me I shouldn't jealous of her, that the world she was in was dangerous and deadly. I am not letting Dudley anywhere near that world."

They were all silent, staring at each other.

"Harry." When Dudley spoke, it was in a soft, almost sad tone. Harry got the feeling that this was the most important day in Dudleys life. That at any moment, the decision that would come from the enormous young man, would affect him for years to come. And so Dudley spoke.

"When we were walking over here. And just now... The way you were all talking. You're in danger aren't you. I mean when you left I thought you were just off playing with other frea- I mean um, people like you. But... you were talking like you have to fight. All the time."

It wasn't a question. Harry and Dudley looked at each other, really looked, for the first time. In another world, this conversation would never really take place. Dudley would come to these realizations far to late, and in the end the best relationship the two of them would ever have would be ackward family reunions as their children played.

But here, Harry told him. Told all of them.

For the next hour Harry Potter and Dudley Dursley discussed the magical world. They were interrupted several times by owls, only for Mikeal to handle the communications himself, all the while quietly talking on his phone. "Running interference," he said.

Vernon didn't say a word. Several times he would scoff, and sometimes his face would change into various colors like an overweight mood-ring. But he didn't say a word. Aunt Petunia commented sometimes, showing a knowledge of the magical world that often shocked the others. And as she watched her son and niece speak, sharing the magical world, a deep sadness would flit across her face. As though she was remembering conversations from days past.

And all the while, Harry kept talking. He spoke of unicorns and dragons, brooms and cars that fly. Of monsters. Snakes that could kill with a look, spiders the size of tanks, and (Dudley shuddered here) cloaked figures who steal you with a kiss.

But Harry's world was not one of magic alone. He told Dudley about his friends. A brilliant girl with a shy smile and bushy hair. A boy with a good heart, jealous and mean at times, but loyal always. There was a moment of embarrassment for him when they got to Cho, and a bit of the old Dudley came back as he gleefully made fun of Harry.

But he was always there. Voldemort. Always prowling at the edge of each tale, a dark figure shadowing every moment, good or bad. Taunting Harry, threatening him, attacking him. Aunt Petunia clenched a fist for a moment shuddering, as Harry described the snake lords taunts towards her sister.

When it was over Vernon was smoking quietly in his chair. He reached up and pulled gently on his mustache.

"Bollocks to all that." Dudley and Petunia looked at him, startled.

"What?"

"Dad-"

"BOLLOCKS!" Vernon roared. "Petunia don't you see! The boy attacks our son with one of his freaky friends, and comes here telling us these tales! Bloody dragons! And these- these hippoguff things-"

"Hippogriff," Mikeal said.

"I DON'T CARE! Don't you see Petunia! Its that boy!" He pointed his finger like a loaded gun at Harry, who sat there with a resigned look on his face. "He ruins everything! From the moment he was dropped on our doorstep our lives were ruined! Him and his freakishness, seeping into everything! And now he comes in with another of you wankers," He glared at Mikeal, who stared at him impassively, the grin on his face a lost memory. "And you want to take my boy from me! Well no more! You are OUT of this house!"

With that Vernon reached out to do something. Maybe to grab Harry and throw him him out, maybe attack Mikeal. Mikeal stepped forward, eyes blazing, only for a something out of the corner of his eye to bring him to a halt.

Moving with speed that belayed his size, Dudley moved in front of Vernon, stopping him cold. Father and Son starred at each other, one determined, the other aghast.

"Dudley. What are you doing?" Petunia's voice was soft, almost pleading.

"I'm going." Petunia and Vernon almost fell over at that. The two shared a glance, horror on their faces before they turned back to him.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about!"

"Duddlykins-"

"I have to go mum."

"Right now actually," Mikeal interjected, looking at his watch. "I called Arthur Weasley a little while ago. He's coming by in a car to pick us up."

"He's fixed the Anglia." Harry couldn't keep a note of excitement from his voice. Despite how it had ended, flying the car through the air alongside Ron was still a highlight moment in his life. Petunia paled, recognizing the car from Harry's story, terrified at the thought of Dudley in a one-ton vehicle flying through the air.

"Nah," Mikeal said, simultaneously deflating Harry and calming Petunia. "Last I heard its still traversing the forbidden forest. Don't know how without gas, but its out there. Anyways, you two should get ready to go."

"And what," Vernon said, voice low and dangerous. "If we refuse."

Mikeal stared at him. "I'll fight you. No magic, no weapons, no tricks. Because what I said was true. I'm unmagical. Which mean I have to replace that advantage with my own skills and hard work." Mikeal eyes seemed to see past Vernon and the room around them, to somewhere far farther away. "I wouldn't want to hurt you Vernon. Not because I have a particular liking towards you. But because Dudley," He nodded towards the large boy. "is someone I can use. Your boy has potential. Up the yin-yang in fact. And the fact is that fighting his father might mean having him refuse to let me teach him. But I'll do it to protect me and mine."

"So here's the deal Dudley." Mikeal moved to stand in front of him. "You were just attacked by Dementors. And I know what they showed you. I promised I would help you. But in order to help I need two things. The first is that you come with me. I can't work on it with you unless you come along. The second is that you learn what I have to teach. Now ask me this," Mikeal grinned that feral grin. "What do you get out of it?"

Dudley barely hesitated. "What do I get?"

"You get to be more then you are Dudley. I'm giving the same chance me and Harry were given. To step out from a life in the shadows, watching the magic around you, but never being apart of it. Come with me, and every day will be the adventure you been waiting for. You'll see the person you are now disappear, replaced by someone you can be proud of."

"Or you can stay," Mikeal shrugged." Stay here and live a normal life. Get married one day, get a job, have some kids, the works. These are your choices my boy. Because the moment you take this first step, the world as we all know will change. All because of you."

Dudley stood in the living room of his house, frozen in front of this strange American offering him something he had been taught to hate his entire life. If Mikeal had made the offer the day before, Dudley would have refused. No thinking about it, just flat out 'no.'

But that Dudley hadn't seen the things he had. Hadn't felt all the goodness in the world disappear around him. Seen the dark parts of himself take over. Heard the world according to Harry Potter. A world of magic and danger, a world where a word and wave could change people to toads.

More importantly Dudley wanted to change. That, more then anything made his decision. Because if he changed, maybe the version of himself he had seen in those Dementors would go away.

"All right."

Mikeal frowned. "Really?"

"Um... yes?"

"Well damn," Mikeal pouted. "You didn't even let me break out the red and blue pills. Oh well."

"The red and blue what?" Harry said in confusion.

"You'll figure it out next year. Anyways I need you guys to get ready-"

"I just bloody told you he's not going!"

"Shut up Vernon. Harry pack your usual fare, Dudley all you need is some clothes and a few personal items. Hurry up and we'll introduce you to magical junk food that much earlier."

Both boy ran upstairs, both happy to leave for very different reasons. Though both perked up at the though of magical junk food.

"Vernon if you want to hit me, now is the time."

Vernon's fist slammed into Mikeal face like a meaty meteor. Mikeal took a step back, rubbing at his jaw as Vernon breathed heavily in front of him.

"Pretty good." Then he smiled. "Go outside Petunia. Me and you husband have to trade words."

She stared between the two men, confusion and fear on her face. "I-I don't, I mean-"

"Dearest," Vernon said," You'll want to say goodbye to Dudley."

Torn between supporting her husband and her son, she followed a mother's instincts.

Mikeal chuckled as she ran outside. "So you'll let him go then."

Vernon glowered at him. "Every since that boy dropped on our laps the only time we've had any control is when he's gone. At least this time I can beat the one responsible."

Mikeals smile widened. "Maybe. But remember. When this ends up on TV Tropes," He cracked his knuckles dramatically, his smile suddenly making Vernon very, very nervous. "It'll be under Asshole Victim."

With that Mikeal's fist slammed into Vernon's face. The impact zone rippled outwards almost in slow motion, even as Mikeal slammed another fist into his stomach.

Vernon recovered, swinging out with his fist. Mikeal almost lazily dodged around it, snapping a kick into Vernon's groin.

"EEEEEEEEK!" Vernon sung soprano at the lowblow. Tears filled his eyes as he stared up at Mikeal. "I... I thought you said no tricks."

Mikeal grinned down at him. "One more thing unmagicals have to depend on." He raised his fist, ready to drive it down. "Lying."

With that, Vernon was sent to merciful unconsciousness.

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When Dudley and Harry stepped outside, Harry lugging his trunk behind him and Dudley carrying a small backpack, only Mikeal and Petunia were there to greet. Something in Mikeal grin told them not to ask about Vernon. It might have been the black eye slowly appearing on his face too.

Mikeal suddenly. "Dudley couldn't you have helped him?"

Dudley blinked, then turned to Harry. He blushed when he realized that Harry was struggling with his heavy trunk, rushing to help as he silently admonished himself.

The whole point was to try and change dammit!

Mikeal turned forward and checked his watch again. "Arthur should get here soon. Petunia," The horse face woman turned to him, still angry. "I know you're mad. And you have every right to be. But..." Mikeal turned to look at Dudley again. "I promise he'll be safe. I'll take of him like my own, same as Harry and everyone else."

As far as they could tell, Petunia was still angry. "You will. Because remember this. I don't care how strong you are. I don't care how many of those _freaks _you have to help you. If you hurt my boy I'll kill you."

A small amount of respect flashed on Mikeal's features at that. "Noted."

She turned and walked up to Dudley hugging him fiercely. Dudley blushed, eyes flitting to the two others standing there. Curiously, both Harry and Mikeal had almost wistful looks on their faces. Petunia backed off and held Dudley's face.

"I don't want you to go."

"I know mum. But I have to go."

"Why?" She pleaded. "Why can't you stay with us instead of going with _him?_" Mikeal put on an innocent 'Who me?' act at that.

"Because what I saw when the Dementors," He stopped, overcome with the memory. Concerned, Petunia hugged him once more.

"It's okay Dudley."

Mikeal spoke up then as a car rolled up to the front of the house. "Time to go."

Petunia nodded, tears in her eye's as she gave Dudley one more hug. "Promise you'll be back home."

"I promise mum."

She sniffed loudly, before ran into the house, tears finally spilling down her cheeks. Dudley stared after, sadness on his feature's before turning resolutely forwards. "I'm ready."

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Harry's dropped as the car rolled up. "What is that?"

It was sleek. Svelte. And dare he think it? Sexy. Until now Harry thought that his Firebolt was the pinnacle of cool transportation. It had finally found competition.

"That, my young Potter, is the original hardtop 1964 Ford Mustang. With all the awesomeness implied."

The car was black, with red racing stripes. But that wasn't a good description. The car was shining in the lights of the street, all sleek lines and smooth curves.

"Hullo Harry!" Arthur Weasley came out of the drivers seat, a wide grin on his face as rushed around and hugged the boy. Rather then his usual fare, he wore a blue jumpsuit that clashed horribly with his thinning bright red hair, as well as a pair of aviators goggles around his neck.

"Hello Mr. Weasley." Harry grinned as he hugged the man back.

"Mikeal, its good to see things went as planned." Arthur grinned, gripping Mikeal's hand.

"Was there any doubt?" Mikeal said happily.

"A little bit on my part." A growly voice said from behind Arthur.

Harry separated from Arthur to see Mad-Eye Moody come out of the cars passenger seat. "Professor Moody?"

Mad-Eye grumbled at that. "Professor? Now boy, you realize you've lost me twenty galleons? I thought you more intelligent then that."

Mikeal grinned at Harry's confusion. "I bet him you'd forget your last teacher was a death eater."

Harry just blushed.

"Wotcher Mikeal!" Harry blinked as a young woman with a heart shaped face and short purple hair came out of the car next.

"Hey Tonks. Harry, meet Tonks. She's part of the resistance. And no, I won't tell you her first name."

The woman smiled widely, shacking Harry's hand. "Not if you value your life you won't. Good to meet ya Harry!"

Harry grinned, feeling happy for the first time in a long while. Then something changed the atmosphere.

"And this is Dudley, Harry's cousin." There was a chilly moment as everyone regarded him. Dudley shuffled under their gaze nervously.

"Um, hello."

"Dudley this is Arthur-"

"We've met. Though under far more strenuous circumstances if I recall." Say what you will about Arthur Weasley, but the man has heart. He didn't hesitate to step forward and shake Dudley's hand. Dudley nervously licked his lips as they shook, obviously remembering the last time they met. Hard to forget a fifty pound tongue coming out of your mouth.

"And this is Alastor Moody. Don't let his appearance fool you. He's scary as hell."

Moody scoffed at that, though an uncharacteristic smirk cracked his face. It didn't soothe Dudley, who shuddered at the sight of the electric blue eye spinning in his right socket. Moody simply leered at him.

"And Tonks."

Tonks smiled reassuringly at Dudley, who shyly smiled back.

"Anyways, we better get moving. Arthur, open up the trunk so they put their shit away."

It was when the trunk was opened that it became obvious just how special the car was. Rather than the standard truck space, it was a small cavern. Dudley stared at the inside of the trunk shock, the outside of the car, then the inside.

"Its, its bigger on the inside!"

Mikeal grinned. "Well just call me the Doctor."

After that they piled into the car, which was large enough that even Dudley's massive frame fit inside comfortably. Moody and Tonks sat in the back with Harry and Dudley, while Arthur drove next to Mikeal.

"Well here we go. All system activate."

For moment Harry wondered who Arthur was talking to. Then the cars dashboard split apart.

As a display screen slid into place Arthur turned to Mikeal, a shockingly familiar grin on his face. "So will we be taking the road way?"

Mikeal grinned at that. "Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads!"

Dudley and Harry turned to each other with shocked looks on their faces then, remembering the one and only movie both had seen together. Tonks whooped while Moody smiled viciously.

The car took rose in to the air as the engine gunned. With one last throttle, the Mustang blasted through the skies.

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Author's Note: Yeah I know! Sorry it late guys. For that I promise a much longer update next time!

Anyways. I hope you enjoyed that. Personally, having someone do all of the things to Vernon I personally wanted to was very satisfying, but if you have any other thoughts let me know.

As for Dudley. Let me start by saying Dudley was never a favorite character. But he was always compelling to me. Especially the idea that Dementors could have lead to the dramatic change he exibits past Book Five. I'd like to see where that goes.

I also hope I managed to do the impossible, and force you to feel sympathy for Petunia Dursley and Dudley.

Not Vernon though. He's a Douchebag.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry was sitting in a flying car. No problem. He'd done it before. Hell, the last time the driver hadn't even hit puberty.

But this time he was sitting next to Dudley. The boys tried their best to avoid looking at each other, strangely enough copying the methods of a version of themselves in another life. Thankfully there was plenty to distract themselves with.

The view alone was perfect for that. Looking outside they could see the neighborhoods of suburban Britain rolling underneath them. Lights against a dark blue background as they flew through the air. Above them, the stars, as large and bright as ever, as cloud formations rose and fell at their sides like mountains of white cotton candy. Apparently Dudley had the same thought.

"I'm hungry."

Mikeal looked from the display he had been fiddling with and snapped his fingers. "I knew I forgot something." He flipped a switch next to his chair. The seat backed into the room-size section the other were sitting in and turned around. Mikeal reached down and dug his finger into a section of the carpet, lifting it up to reveal a secret compartment. "There you go boys. Magical junk food, as promised."

Within the compartment was a large refrigerator. Stocked to the brim with what Harry recognized as multiple flavors of Florean Fortescue's best ice cream in several glass containers with the relevant flavors name printed on it. Harry had never seen Dudley's eyes go wider.

"Dig in."

Hands flashing like lighting, Dudley grabbed three random containers and pulled them into his lap. Mikeal handed him a spoon, and almost immediately Dudley was eating, moaning a little bit in happiness.

Harry choose to stick to one flavor. After perusing the fridge for a moment, Mikeal tapped him on the shoulder. "How 'bout that one?"

Harry stared at the one Mikeal had pointed at, emblazoned with the words "Chocolate and Raspberry (with chopped nut!)"

"Hagrid told me it was your favorite."

Harry smiled at that. "He's right. Its the first one I ever had."

Harry grabbed it, followed by Moody, Tonks, and Mikeal. Mr. Weasley was driving, and so was exempt. Though truthfully, he looked happier driving then Dudley did eating. As they all relaxed Mikeal began to point out features of the car.

"Well to be honest, despite the stuff like the refrigerator and extra room, this car wasn't made for comfort. Me and Arthur got started on it about a week after we first met."

"Wasn't easy convincing Molly about it," Arthur said with a wry grin. "seeing as how its technically illegal to even be in this car.

"Well that's why you married her bro. She needs a rebel in her life."

Harry resisted laughing at the thought of Mr. Weasley as a rebel, instead sharing a grin with Tonks.

"Anyways, after a few screaming matches we convinced that making this would help the war effort. Granted I'm paraphrasing. Suffice to say it was harder convincing her then it was actually making the damn thing."

"Which is not to say it was easy at all." Arthur interjected.

"Right. First we had to get the car. Took a bit of doing, but once Dumbledore heard what we needed he managed to pull some strings. Turns out being Headmaster of Hogwarts is pretty cushy gig financially speaking."

"Once we had the car, we put the same spells I had in my Anglia. You know, the one you wrecked." Despite Mr. Weasley's good natured tone, Harry still blushed. "So its cloaked from Ragar-"

"Radar," Mikeal corrected.

"Informed-"

"Infrared."

"And the human eye."

"Human- no. Wait. You said that one right. Continue."

Arthur gave Mikeal a bemused look before turning back to the sky ahead. "After that we got creative. Moody actually helped with that."

"Really?" Harry said doubtfully. He couldn't see the grizzled man as much of a mechanic.

"Not with the car itself boy," Moody growled. "The defenses. They wanted to know how a Death Eater could destroy this car. So," He smiled a grim, unfriendly smile. "I told them."

Mikeal shuddered. "Yeah. I lost a night or two of sleep over that. But it helped. We added some weapons and defensive items, a mix of Unmagical tech and Magical, uh, magic." Mikeal grinned at Mr. Weasley. "Turns out Arthur here is a genius at it. Couldn't have even started without him, let alone finished."

Arthur blushed, though he looked pleased at the praise all the same.

"Anyways, the car is able to put up a semi permanent _Protego_ shield in case of magical attack. If something strong, like a giant or troll, tries to smash it, the car has been spelled to be magically tough. You could crash this baby through a house and come out fine. As for weapon, simple dispersion stuff like pepper spray and smoke grenades are installed. We also have lethal stuff, regular frag grenades, magical ones that can follow a target and stick to 'em, and electroshocker."

Harry couldn't help being fascinated. "How do you control all of that?"

Arthur tapped on the display screen on the dashboard. "Right here. Mikeal gave me the idea for what he calls a 'touch screen'. Allows the driver or passenger to control everything in the car with a few taps on the screen. Also has navigation, can sense any aircraft within a thousand mile, and thanks to an identification spell only the people we allow can use anything in this car."

Tonks swallowed the last of her ice cream before cutting in. "This is all fascinating. But I think we're missing something. Are we there yet?"

Mikeal laughed. "Not just yet Tonks. We gonna loop around real quick, make sure nobody followed us."

Tonks frowned. "Bit paranoid isn't it?"

Mikeal shrugged. "Its only paranoia if no ones out to get ya. In the middle of war its just simple caution."

"Right you are boy. And it'll do ya good to learn it girl," Moody growled.

"Well of course you agree. You've attacked random animals because you thought they were animagus!" Tonks said in exasperation.

"Sounds like a good idea." Everyone turned to Harry, who looked surprised he even talked. "Well, you see, I spent all last year spied on by a woman who could turn into a beetle." Anger crossed his feature. "If I'd killed that beetle a lot of things might have gone differently."

Tonks and Dudley gaped at him, even as Mikeal and Moody watched silently.

"But-But thats murder!" Dudley said in shock. Harry choose to ignore him, turning back to his ice cream. As the cold confection met his tongue, it tasted rather hollow. All he could think of were all the things that happened to him last year. All the pain, embarrassment, and especially-

SMACK!

"OW! What the bloody hell!" Harry rubbed the back of his head, looking furiously at Mikeal. "What did you do that for?"

"You can't angst over ice cream dude. First off you're not a teenage girl-"

"Hey!"

"Sorry Tonks. Second, I already said we had your back. Every person here and where we're going, is ready to protect and help you. I know you felt alone last year-"

"How?" Harry interrupted bitterly. "How would you know how I felt?"

Mikeal frowned. They kept eye-contact for a moment, Harry defiant and enraged Mikeal just looking for something to say. Then Mikeal rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "Look, just-just try to enjoy your ice cream. Don't let a broad with a notebook and a guy with no nose ruin it for you all right?"

Without waiting for an answer Mikeal turned back to the front. "Anyways I need you two to look at this. Don't read the words out loud, just memorize them. Ruins the effect otherwise."

Harry grabbed the paper and looked at it. In vaguely familiar writing it said, _The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London._

He passed it to Dudley, mindful of Mikeal's warning and saying nothing. Harry looked down at the ice cream melting in his lap and frowned. Slowly he raised his spoons and put it in his mouth. As the flavors danced on his tongue he smiled a little.

Delicious.

They flew through air for another thirty minute, coasting above the streets of London. Finally, Arthur spoke up.

"We're nearly there now. Put on your seatbelts, we're going to land."

Dudley looked outside the windows at the neighborhood they were currently floating over. "Um... Are you sure this is the place?"

Moody scuffed. "Not afraid of a little dirt are you?"

Honestly though, Dudley's nervousness was understandable. Very few houses had windows instead of plywood, and from the looks of it most of the people who lived in those houses were squatters. Bags of rubbish were stacked outside of many houses, and every single on needed a new coat of paint.

"I like it," Tonks said. "Reminds me of my old room at home."

The Mustang floated gently down until it was parked in front of set of houses Number 10, 11, and 13. Mikeal motioned for the others to stay inside as Moody stepped out of the car. Moody looked around for a moment, then took a device that looked like a silver cigarette lighter looking from his pocket. He clicked it, and a nearby streetlight went out. After several times all the light were out.

Harry frowned as he went out of the car. "Why didn't you do that while we're flying?"

"Because the cars shields and cloaking protect us from sight and harm. At least way-"

"No assassinations." Moody finished for Arthur. Harry's face paled a bit at that.

The group stepped forth and looked up at the set of house.

"Now boys think hard on the slip of paper I gave you. Remember what it said on it."

Dudley frowned. "I don't understand. There's no-"

"Shhh. I know dude. Just think about it and all will be revealed."

Harry frowned, but did so anyways. Almost the instant he reached the word "Place", the buildings in front of them began to groan. Shifting and grinding, they began to part as a new building took place between them. Soon enough, they were walking up the steps of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Mikeal opened the door and motioned everyone in. Moody and Harry were the last in, with Moody taking the time to release the lights held in the Put-Outer. The house inside was dark. Gas lamps lit up along the wall, allowing them to pick their way to the end of the hall. Harry and Dudley stared at the portraits on the wall and a chandelier that hung from the ceiling, all of which looked like they hadn't been cleaned in months. Dudley stared in confusion at a large set of velvet drapes before being ushered on by Tonks, who took a moment to glance nervously at the moth-bitten cloth.

Then the door at the end of the hall opened, ejecting two people who seemed to be deep in a talk about something. Mikeal smiled and stepped off to the right.

"Get ready Harry."

Harry had time to look at Mikeal in confusion before he was noticed by one of the people at the end of the hall.

"Harry!"

"Oof!" A blur of brown bushy hair sped past Mikeal and Dudley, slamming into Harry like a delighted cruise missile. Mikeal grinned as Hermione hugged Harry with all the strength she could muster, which was a surprising amount.

"Ron, he's here! He's finally here! Oh its so good to see you, how are you? Are you furious with us, I know we didn't say enough in our letters, are you angry! Mikeal said he'd explain, but he didn't say how, and I'm so sorry, but Dumbledore said we couldn't say anything, and then Mikeal called him an idiot, and they had a big row, we-"

Ron, who seemed to have become even taller since Harry had seen him last, smiled at the two of them before he stepped up and gave his father a hug. "Hello Dad. How'd the flight go?

"Smooth as silk," Arthur said with a smile. "Not a thing out of place, and flew the air better then any bird I've ever seen! I can't wait to show it to Bill, he was estatic when he found out."

"Only because the man knows a good car when he sees it," Mikeal interjected with a grin. He and Ron clasped hands. "Good to see you kid. By any chance have you seen Sirius?"

"Sirius is here?" Harry asked, having finally pulled away from Hermione, who was greeting Tonks.

"Yep. There's actually a lot of familiar faces here for ya. Anyways is he here?"

A voice spoke up from down the hall. "Not like I can go anywhere else."

Sirius stepped forward and wrapped his godson in a hug, an affectionate grin on his face. "Good to see you Harry. Let me get a look at you," He held Harry for inspection. "Well you gotten taller since I last saw you. Need to eat more. But healthy as an ox, eh! Ha ha!" He wrapped Harry in another hug, grinning fit to burst.

Mikeal coughed to get everyones attention. "And this is Dudley Dursley. Harry's cousin. He'll be staying as my guest, uh if that's okay with you Sirius?"

Things were ackward. Dudley realized full well what was happening. Ron, Hermione, and Sirius were standing in front of him, the boy partially responsible for Harry's abusive early life. At any other time all he would have felt was fear, especially at the obvious fury on Ron's face. But now he wasn't concerned just for himself.

Dudley, who had never faced any real terror in his life, had been forced to see his own soul by the Dementor who had attacked him. And with that expierience came clarity.

So now, standing before the people who cared for Harry while he bullied him, Dudley felt only shame. So he was as surprised as anyone when Sirius smiled.

"Well Mikeal already talked to me about it, so you can stay Dudley. As long as," He said seriously, "You make an effort to change."

Shocked, Dudley nodded eagerly.

"Good. Now Mikeal," Sirius said eagerly. "Finally!"

Mikeal grinned, a savage mad grin. "Oh yesssss," He hissed. "Bring them in."

Harry and Dudley stood there in confusion as Mikeal grin became copied on everyone else's faces. The adults apparated away, and the teenagers followed Mikeal into a door off to the side.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Well you see Harry," Mikeal said as he walked into the middle of a small room, towards a large trunk trunk pushed against the wall. "Ever since the place was reopened, we have been plagued by a presence. The former occupants are, ironically enough, racist assholes. I say ironic, because this place is now the headquarters of a group trying to kill, capture, or at least stop those same assholes."

Mikeal kneeled down and fiddled with the lock. "The problem with magic though, is that it always leaves its mark. So, we find ourselves fighting the darkest of magics in the same place we're trying to call home. And until you came, I had no way of helping."

"Why?" Harry said.

"Well according to Mikeal, he couldn't interfere directly until you were here. He didn't even let Mr. Weasley fly the car until today." Hermione said.

"Something about 'messing with the timeline.'" Ron added.

"Like the Doctor?" Dudley said.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at him blankly.

"Who?" They said unison.

"You'll find out in 2005," Mikeal said. "Until then, take a block." He started chucking pale brown blocks that looked like plastic to them. As Harry grabbed his, he inspected it.

"Whats C4?" He read off the block.

Mikeal just grinned. "Right now? A blessing to the world."

When they stepped out of the room again, the hallway was crowded. The entirety of the Weasley family was there, except for Percy. Before Harry could wonder why Molly stepped forward with a smile and a hug.

"Oh, Harry! Its so good to see you dear. Have you been keeping well dear?"

"Give him some room Mum." Ron said with a grin. She ignored as she fussed over Harry.

"Fred and George! Are you ready!" Mikeal said with a grin.

"Hell yes!" The twins saluted jauntily, with their right hands. In their lefts they carried a strange device and bunch of coiled wire. Both boys had gotten stockier since the last time Harry had seen them, with most of that being muscle. Both wore the same jumpsuit as their father, though theirs were a dark purple.

"At ease." Mikeal saluted back happily. "Break to say hello to Harry."

"Hullo to Harry!" They said unison.

"Now, to work!"

"Yes sir!"

With that they stepped towards the velvet drapes further down the hall. Harry was distracted from wondering what had happened when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and smiled at Remus Lupin.

"Professor Lupin."

"Oh now Harry, I'm no longer your teacher. You can call me Remus." He smiled and clasped hands with Harry. "Good to have you with us my boy," He said fondly.

"Isn't it." Sirius smiled as he spoke, gripping Harry's shoulder fondly.

As everyone was being introduced, Mikeal called for attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, whatever the hell Mundungus is-"

"Oy!" The seedy man said. Harry noticed he seemed to be severely bruised, and could barely stand, wincing at the slightest movement.

"We have been preparing for this moment for a while now. The moment we get of an abomination that has plagued us for far to long. Tonks! If you would."

The girl smiled, and her hair flashed from purple to pink. "I'd love to. Surprised the bint hasn't woken up already with this ruckus." With that, Tonks stepped over to an umbrella stand that seemed to have been made from an elephants foot. She reared back, and gleefully kicked the stand over.

"Hiiyah!"

_CRASH._

As soon as the umbrella stand hit the floor, the velvet drapes snapped open. Behind them was the most realistic painting Harry had ever seen in his life. Unfortuanetly, it was also the ugliest.

As the woman depicted in the painting began to scream, every other portrait in the hall way woke and began to yell as well.

"_Mudbloods! Blood traitors, and muggles! Leave the home of my ancestors! Begone you filth! Begone!"_

Harry had to hold his hands to his ears against the loud shouting. Hermione tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned around she was offering him a pair of earmuffs. Off to the side he could see a ecstatic Professor Sprout handing out the earmuffs, which he recognized from second year. He quickly put them on, sighing in relief as the woman's screaming was mercifully muffled.. Hermione motioned towards a button on her own earmuffs, miming pushing it and gesturing Harry to do the same. Once he did he could hear Mikeal on them.

"-Is it working I said. Is the spell working? If it is, raise your hands." One by one, everyone raised their hand in the air as they activated the earmuffs.

"Perfect. Thank Pomona and Flitwick everyone, for the spellwork on these." The two professors bowed blushingly, Flitwick's hat almost brushing the floor. "Now, we start the show."

He turned to Harry, Dudley, Ron, and Hermione. "The C4 please." One by one they gave Mikeal a block, and he stabbed one of the devices Fred and George had been carrying into each one. "Fred, George. Your turn."

The twins grinned. Grabbing a block each, they slapped them directly over each of the woman's breast, who stopped screaming to look down at each one comically. Mrs. Weasley looked torn between yelling at them for the placement of the blocks, and cheering on the proceedings. She choose to simply glare.

Another two block were slapped onto the woman' face and neck, and the boy stepped back.

"Fantastic, wouldn't you say George," Fred could be heard saying over the earmuffs.

"A work of art in my opinion Fred. A truly inspired work."

"Boys, it time to step back and get ready," Mikeal said. "Sirius. I believe its your turn." The shaggy haired man smiled and motioned towards Harry. "Sure. You can press it together."

Sirius, Harry, Mikeal, Fred, George, Lupin, Molly, Arthur, Ron, Hermione, Mad-Eye, Tonks, Professor Sprout, Professor Flitwick, Bill, Charlie, and Ginny all stood in at the other end of the hall from the screaming picture. Mikeal handed Sirius a remote control connected to a long wire that stretched up to the painting to connect to the four blocks of C4.

"Remus, Molly, Arthur, Mad-Eye. Put up the shields." With a wave from the four of them the air just in front of them glimmered. "Now the surrounding walls. Don't want the house coming apart." Another wave and the walls glimmered gently.

"Sirius. When you're ready."

Sirius grinned and held out the remote to Harry. A single switch gleamed at the center of it. Harry looked up quizically, and Sirius put his finger on the switch, mouthing silently.

"_On Three."_

Harry had already realized that this explosion was somehow important to his godfather, and felt a burst of warmth at the thought that wanted to share it with him. And so, the two of them counted down together, ready blow things up.

It was a beautiful moment really.

And so it was that the painting of Sirius's mother exploded, blowing apart in a swath of flames and one final scream, unheard to all. In another section of the house, a concussed Kreacher, held down by an ecstatic Dobby to keep him from interfering screamed.

"Mistress! NOOOOOOOO!"


	5. Chapter 5

Funny thing about the world of magic. Not to many explosives. Flying spells, burst of flame, snakes the size of buses, sure. But strangely enough, explosions are a much rarer beast.

So when the painting blew up, it was quite a sight for everyone in the room. A wide smile was stretched on Mikeal's face as he looked at the aftermath of the blast. Although most of the hall had been protected thanks to the shield spells, Mrs. Black's painting was gone. As in not a trace. All that was left was large hole in the wall, about as tall as the average teenager.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we unmagical folk handle problems. C-4. Good for enemies, enemy buildings, and that guy who used to park right in front of my building even though he didn't live there."

Sirius whooped, looking more happy then Harry had ever seen him. "Please tell me you have more of that stuff! A few more and I can actually get to like this place!"

Mikeal grimaced as everyone started taking off the earmuffs. "I wish. Truth is I couldn't get much. C-4 is impossible to get legally, and hard as hell illegally. And while Mundungus is trying, he doesn't have as many contacts in the unmagical world as his own. He can get it. But not in huge quantities."

Sirius and Mrs. Weasley were an interesting contrast of crestfallen and elated respectively. No doubt Mrs. Weasley was worried about the idea of explosions of such power anywhere near Fred or George, who were still grinning from ear to ear.

"Well," Lupin said. "As welcome a distraction as that was, I am rather hungry. I imagine you two as well." He added to Harry and Dudley.

"Oh of course! I'm so sorry dearie," Mrs. Weasley said blushingly. "You must be starving by now."

"Actually-" Before Harry could tell her about the ice cream, he saw Mikeal just behind her, shacking his frantically and mouthing, 'For the love of god, don't!'

"That sounds good." Mikeal sighed in relief. When Molly turned to look at him in confusion he whistled innocently, walking into the kitchen as she stared at him suspiciously.

"And that when I bought the horse a prostitute."

"Hahahahaha!"

Mundungus, Sirius and Mikeal laughed together, almost falling over.

"I tell you Sirius," Mundungus wiped a tear from his eye. "I love this bloke!"

They were sitting together with a disapproving Lupin, though the errant werewolf still had a smile at the corner of his lips.

They weren't the only ones in the kitchen of course. Everyone had chosen to stay for dinner, even Moody surprisingly, though he still refused to drink from anything but his hip-flask. And any group that included the entirety of the Weasley family (Minus Percy, but who cares about him until book seven) was a full one, which meant the kitchen was bursting to full.

Tonks, Ginny and Hermione were gathered together, which Harry could tell was something that happened often. Dudley, strangely enough also sat with them. The reason for it was explained rather quickly though.

The large boy couldn't seem to take his eyes off Tonks, which was almost adorable if not for the fact that his jaw would drop in the middle of eating to drop pieces of food. Between that and Tonks shape-changing nose Hermione and Ginny were in stitches. They almost lost it when Tonks changed her nose into a pig's snout, making her look like a more svelte Dudley. The boy blushed in embarrassment, but didn't seem to mind that much.

It was weird for Harry, having Dudley there. This whole night seemed to be about mixing the worlds he lived in, the worlds he had tried to keep secret for so long. Dementors in Little Whinging, a Muggle man with full knowledge of the wizard world blowing up paintings with explosives, Petunia knowing about Azkaban. It was far from the strangest night he had ever had, but it was up there.

But it wasn't bad. For one thing, Dudley wasn't acting like himself. For a moment Harry thought it might have been fear of a pig's tail or a Two-Ton Tongue (Patented by Weasley's Wizard Wheezes). But it was more that Dudley no longer knew how to act. Every once in awhile, Harry could see a sign of the old Dudley about to come out. A snide remark ready to explode, a fist ready to be thrown, his face twisting into a sneer. But just as suddenly he would stop, a confused look on his face. Then he would sigh softly, shamefully, and relax once more.

It was weird. But not bad.

Harry was interrupted from his musings by a tap on the shoulder. He turned to see the smiling faces on Ron, Fred, George, and Ginny.

"Harry you wouldn't even believe all of things we've been through this month!" said Fred.

"I'm learning marital arts!"

"You mean Martial Arts," Ginny corrected Ron.

"Yeah, that."

George chuckled alittle, smiling a little. "Really though, this Mikeal bloke is pretty cool. He managed to convince Mum-"

"To make inventions for the order," Fred finished. "And the reason we're talking to you now-"

"Is because-"

"We made you this!"

And with that, Ginny pulled something from her pocket and handed it to Harry. It was an arm-length metal contraption with black leather straps, and a tubular slot in the near center of it, next to a much thinner and flatter slot. The whole thing looked sleek and shiny.

Ron lifted his arm to show that he was wearing one on the back of his arm with his wand in side the tubular slot. "Its called a Hidden Bracer. Mikeal says he based it on a video game he used to play all the time. Whatever a video game is."

"I'll let you know when their worth playing," Mikeal said as he walked up. "Until then, the corporate cats will have to get their cash elsewhere."

Mikeal motioned towards the Bracer in Harry's hand. "Its made specifically so that your wand will be in constant contact with your skin. That way you can hold onto other things like a sword, knife, or even another wand, and still be able to spell the crap out of someone. Go ahead, try it on."

Harry strapped the bracer onto his arm with instruction from Ginny. When he was done, he took his wand and slipped it into the hole. For some reason Mikeal snickered when Ginny instructed him to do this, but Harry figured it wasn't important.

Harry could feel the familiar tingle of the wands magic mingling with his when it slipped in. He moved his arm around a bit, surprised at the ease of movement he felt.

"It feels good."

Mikeal smiled. "Yeah. We had some trouble at first with the design, since we had it as a normal brace with a wand strapped on it. Problem was that spells would get weakened since you weren't in direct contact with the wand. A simple design change, and now it now not only looks cool, but functions perfectly." He reached into his jacket and pulled out another one. "We also made a variation for unmagicals. The tube spits out different kind of ammo and pellets with different application." He handed it to Dudley. "I'll teach about it later. But for now, its one of our more practical machines.

"And it'll be standard for the Order next week." Moody, who had been listening off to the side, cut in.

Harry started then. "Oh. What is the Order of the Phoenix anyways?"

The room went silent. Mikeal winced as he felt the gazes of several people on him.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM!" Mrs. Weasley roared.

"My bad!"

Lupin sighed, turning to Harry as Mr. Weasley calmed his wife down.

"The Order of the Phoenix was a group of wizards that came together during the First Wizarding War. We fought You-Know-Who's forces up until-"

"Your mom's love killed his pasty ass." Mikeal finished with a grin. His grin fell when Mrs. Weasley and Hermione smacked in the back of his head. "Ow! What the-"

"No foul language." They said unison.

"Anyways," Lupin continued. "After the Tri-Wizard tournament, Dumbledore called us together once more. Its harder now though, what with the Ministry against both Dumbledore and his followers."

"Yeah. Mikeal told me that part."

"Did he? Good."

Mikeal cut in. "Guys, I don't want to rush, but Harry knows enough for now."

For a moment Harry felt a familiar rage at being excluded. It was cut off by Mikeal's next words.

"He'll learn more as the meeting goes on. That is, if you have no complaints Molly."

They looked each other in the for a moment. As if by some unspoken signal, they both glanced at Fred. Then Mrs. Weasley sighed, nodding slowly. "Of course. Just remember our deal."

He smiled gently. "Good enough. Anyways, Snape will be coming soon, so we better get to cleaning this place for the meeting.. Harry, mind coming with me? There's someone who'd like to see you."

With that, the two left the room as Ron grumbled about the fact he hadn't gotten out of cleaning up too.

The two of them, Muggle and wizard through halls for a little while before Harry finally asked the question that had been on his mind.

"Who are you?"

"Hmm?" Mikeal smiled a little. "I'm Mikeal."

"No, I mean-" Harry tried to figure out what to say. "You're a Muggle right?"

"I prefer unmagical since it doesn't sound like a cheap cleaning product, but yeah."

"How do you know about the magical world!"

Mikeal shrugged. "Same way anyone does. I spent all my life thinking it fantasy, then one day I get dropped into the middle of all this. Since I was here, I figured I'd stick around and help."

Harry frowned. "But its more then that isn't it. You keep talking about things as if they haven't happened yet. Like you can see the future."

Mikeal smiled. "Yeah. Shit out of luck for the lottery though. Didn't think to take the numbers with me. All I had was my MP3 player. Which, now that I think about it, was lucky. Put some good movies and music on the thing." He said fondly.

"So its true? You can see the future?"

"Na, I wish I could. No, I'm actually from the future. To be specific, a different future."

"What does that mean?" Harry said exasperatedly.

"It mean that all I really have are broad guesses. It means that every-time I change something for the better, I stand the chance of making something else become worse later down the line. Its why I had to wait until today to fly the car, destroy the painting, all of it. So that I would be able to build a solid wall between me and the insanity. Because today is the day you were attacked in an act of war."

Harry stared at him, mind reeling with the implications of what was being told. Before he could get his thoughts together, Mikeal opened a door.

Behind was a small room, from which issued a shrill shriek.

"Harry Potter!"

Harry felt a sense of deja vu as a small body slammed into him for the second time that day. It took him a moment to realize who had hit him.

"D-Dobby?"

The little elf laughed gleefully, landed back on the floor. "Dobby is happy to see you, sir."

Dobbyhad changed a lot since Harry had last seen him. He wore a simple t-shirt and jeans, tailored for his small size, and sneakers similar to the ones Harry wore even now. The look of happiness and adoration was turned to Mikeal, and Dobby winced, like he had forgotten Mikeal was there.

"O-Of course, Dobby is happy to see you as well Mikeal, sir."

The man laughed. "I told you not to call me sir Dobby! Besides I get it. You haven't seen your friend in a while, right?"

Mikeal became serious. "Is he-?"

Though he didn't finish his sentence, Dobby nodded behind him. "Over there sir. Still crying."

Mikeal nodded. "Harry, do you mind if you stay here? I need to handle something."

Though he was curious, Harry nodded. Mikeal smiled and went deeper into the room.

"Truly, it is good to see you sir."

Harry smiled. "Its good to see you too Dobby. How've you been?"

Dobby pratically fell over in excitement. "Dobby is a general now!"

Harry blinked at that. "A general?"

Dobby nodded. "Just a week ago! Mikeal came and said, 'Dobby! You is now General of the Army for house-elves!' And he gave Dobby this." Dobby reached into his back pocket and handed Harry a small booklet.

Harry read the title out loud. "_The Military Ranks of the United States Military._"

Dobby nodded. "Dobby is now leading the Hogwarts House Elves in the war."

Harry smiled. Many people would have scoffed at the idea that house elves would be useful in battle. Harry on the other hand, knew house were dangerous combatants, having been on the end of a few bad spells himself. From the very elf in front of him no less.

"That's fantastic Dobby. I'm proud of you."

The General smiled happily.

Mikeal, meanwhile had found Kreacher. The old house elf was kneeling on the floor, almost beside himself with tears. When he heard Mikeal come into the room, his sadness twisted into rage.

"_You."_

"Yes. Me."

Kreacher got up staring at Mikeal with great hatred, even as tears fell down his baggy cheeks. "Come to gloat, the Muggle has, gloat about how he used his filthy bombs to destroy my Mistress. Well he'll get no pleasure from my pain." The elf muttered.

Mikeal shook his head. "I didn't blow up that painting to hurt you Kreacher. It was nuisance, and the whole house is better off without the spirits of the long dead yelling to us from beyond. If we wanted that, we'd put our headquarters in New Jersey."

Mikeal face became a little sad. "To tell the truth, I feel for you."

Kreacher raised an eyebrow. "Of course, master is right-"

Mikeal raised a hand. "No. Don't pander to me on one hand, then berade me with another." He gave Kreacher a stern look. "Before he died, Regulus asked for your help. You took him to a locket that Voldemort hid. You told him how to get to it. And the last order he ever gave you before he was ripped apart by Inferni was to destroy it."

Kreacher gaped at him, stunned. "H-How-"

"I got my sources. Look, I know you hate Muggles. And I know you won't change your mind about that. But if you want to fulfill your masters last orders, I can help you. But you need to help me too."

Silence filled the room. Then-

"Tell me what to do."

Moments later everyone was sitting around the table. Mikeal sat at the head, with Dobby on his right and Snape on his left. The potion master had chosen not to speak, instead striding into the room with all grace of a bat in flight and sitting in his chair. Mikeal gave him a curt nod, which he ignored, simply waiting for the meeting to begin.

"All right, are we all here?"

"Wait," Harry said. "Where's Dumbledore?"

Bill answered. "He's visiting the goblins and asking for their help. I've been talking to them for awhile, but I figured having the world most famous wizard begging them for help might smooth over the deal." A wicked grin that wouldn't have looked out of place on Fred or George extended on his face. "Not that I told him that way of course."

"Its a good idea," Charlie broke in. "The goblins have a lot of pride, and this could help us add them to our group. Having Gringotts backing could make a lot of things easier for us."

"Which is one of many things we'll discuss. Mikeal, if you would?" Mr. Weasley said.

"Thanks Arthur. First things first, Snape. Do you know if Voldemort is planning anything new since our last meeting?"

The greasy haired man shook his head. "The Dark Lord remains as focused as ever on Potter. He recruits, bullies, threatens, but all the while, Potter remains on his agenda. A mistake, if I say so myself."

White-hot rage burst into Harry, only to cool into confusion when Mikeal nodded.

"Good."

All except Snape started at this.

"Good," Tonks said. "What is good about this?"

Mikeal smiled. "Its simple. First off, I already know what he's after. I even have it memorized. Its useless. A prophecy about how Harry and Voldemort will one day kill each other, that's all. He'll try to use the link he has through Harry's scar to send him visions of where its hidden in the Ministry, to get you," He pointed to Harry now. "To pick it up for him."

"Then of course, you find yourself surrounded by Death Eaters, yada yada yada, big fight, insert speech about love, end novel."

It disturbed Harry how close that end part was to his usual adventures.

"Anyways, Harry, don't worry. We've got your back. Snape is accomplished at defending the mind against magical attack, so you'll be spending the rest of the summer and school year practicing under him."

Mikeal smiled at the shared look of disgust between the two. "I know you don't like it. But Snape is one of the few men in the world who can keep a strong mind like Voldemort's out of his head, and he's the best for the job." Snape's arrogant smirk angered Harry a little. "I'd say Dumbledore, but the mans on a permanent diet of lemon drops, so I'd rather avoid that."

Harry smiled a little at that. But still, "Can't Sirius teach me? Or Lupin?" Snape scoffed.

The two marauders grinned. "We will be teaching you Harry," Sirius said. "Snape will be in and out of here too much during the summer to give you a complete course, what with being a spy and all. So you only learn from him during the school year."

Mollified, and happy at the prospect of spending time with Godfather, Harry nodded.

"Before we continue Snape, is there anything else."

The scowling man nodded. "Yes. I need the maps."

Fred and George nodded. "On it!"

As the two apparated away, Molly groaned. "I told them to stop doing that in the house!"

Seconds later the boys popped back in, a stack of papers in their hands. "Got 'em!"

Mikeal laid them out in front of of Snape, who pointed out several locations across Europe. "Voldemort has been told of numbers of his followers being attacked, or ignored completely in these areas. Particularly outside of England, and especially here."

Mikeal smiled when he saw the section Snape was pointing to. "Of course no one will listen to him there." The smile became bittersweet. "Germany has had its fill of tyrants. Still," He looked at Moody, who was taking a swig from his flask. "What do you think Mad-Eye?"

Moody growled. "Don't act daft boy. I know what you're thinking, and you're right. Recruits for the Order would be easy to find in Germany."

Ginny perked. "Oh, can I come! I tried German chocolate once and it was-" She trailed off when Moody's electric blue-eye spun around to stare at her. "Nevermind."

Tonks nuged her when Moody had turned back around. "I'll get you some when we go there."

Ginny smiled at that.

"All right. We're good for now I think."

"Then I'm leaving."

Mikeal nodded. "I know you wanted to talk privately with Dumbledore. You want me to tell him when?"

"No." The man sneered a little. "As happy as I would be to have an errand boy, I'll visit him on my own time."

With that, he was gone.

Mikeal sighed. "Maybe if we took that stick out of his tuckus we could beat Dumbledore to death with it."

Sirius guffawed at that.

"Dobby? What have we got on your front?"

The little elf was balancing precariosly on top of several books. Even then, he had to get up to be seen by everyone else at the table.

"Dobby has the House Elves of Hogwarts practicing their rounds. Apparating all over the school to practice the watch shift." At certain points Dobby would frown as he said a military term, like the words didn't feel quite right. "Dobby also talked to Firenze like Mikeal asked."

Mikeal frowned. "What did he say?"

Dobby shrugged. "He said, 'I will speak to him in time." Dobby tried to copy the sonorous voice of the centaur, and did a surprisingly good job."

"Well," Mikeal sighed. "It was a long shot to get a immediate answer from a centaur. Still, good work with your troops General. What about combat magic? And the knife work I talked to you about?"

Dobby frowned. "Dobby talked to them, but theys say no. Said they didn't want hurt people, just help." Dobby perked up a little. "But Dobby saw some want to say yes but couldn't! Dobby will try again!"

Mikeal smiled. "Well done Dobby."

The little elf beamed at that.

"Anyways. Mundungus, Arthur, what've we got on the Ministry?"

Harry thought it strange that he would ask Mundungus about it, but got his answer as Mundungus spoke.

"Well," He said in that strong cockney accent. "I did whatcha said. Got a few of my contacts spreading some false trails, leading the Ministry around by the nose. Almost got some of my guys caught, but it worked."

Mikeal nodded. "Nice job. If we can keep their eyes off of us, we can take down Voldemort all the easier. Arthur?"

"I warned some friends in the Department of Mysteries about Voldemort preparing to make a incursion on their level. Well, I say friends, but-" Arthur shivered. "Anyways, they know to increase security. At least one part of the Ministry believes Voldemort alive, and it might be the best one to have."

Mikeal frowned though, and Tonks shared his worry.

"But no full support?" She said.

Arthur shook his head. "No. I tried, but the fact is they aren't warriors. Spying is their game. We did get a deal though." Arthur grinned. "They promised to sneak us a few toys."

At that, a sharp breathe was drawn through the room.

"You mean-"

"Yep. The Department of Mysteries are going to help us in every experiment they can. They just want a few notes and schematics in return."

Fred and George high-fived at that. Mikeal shook his head happily. "Not the good news I wanted, but the good news I needed. Awesome."

Mikeal looked down the table. "And now the part you kids have been dreading. Hermione."

The bushy girls face lit up. It was interesting to Harry that when Ron turned to look at her, the red heads face lit up as well. In a rush, Hermione grabbed a bag she had set beside her and ran up to the head of the table.

"Here they are."

"Awesome." Mikeal looked down the table at everyone. "Hope you enjoyed your fun summer. Because this," He lifted up a sheet of paper from the bag Hermione held. "Is your new class schedule."

Every adult (Including Hermione, and exempting Moody) smiled at the roar came from the Weasley siblings.

"Blasphemy!"

"Homework during the summer! Sacrilege!"

"Hermione, what the blo-"

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley cut him off with a stare.

Mikeal grinned. "Sorry guys. Trust me, we've all felt that way. Well," He added. "Maybe not Hermione and Lupin, but still."

The two aforementioned smiled a little at that.

"Look, I know you don't like the idea, but you're going to love the execution. Hermione."

She smiled and cleared her throat. "Okay. So first off, I thought we should do everything early so that we'd have plenty of time to do whatever we need. Obvious of course. Beginning of the morning will be review. We'll go over the things we've learned previously to find out what we should do next and what weaknesses we may have. Afterwords will be Martial Arts with Mikeal." She turned to him. "Do you want to talk about that?"

Mikeal shrugged. "Its no big deal. Basic self-defense stuff. When its over I'll make it so that little Ginny will be able to throw a full grown Death Eater on his back without a wand."

"Ron can do that with his socks." Ginny grinned.

"Shut up!" Ron said.

"Anyways, what else Hermione?" Mikeal said.

"Oh- Oh right! Next will be spell practice. Based on strengths and weaknesses, we'll practice charms, transfiguration, and defense against the dark arts. For instance, I'm particularly good at charms and transfiguration, but my dark arts skills aren't quite as good, so I'll spend more time on that than anything else. That will be taught by whatever wizards are in the house at the time."

Flitwick spoke then. Both he and Professor Sprout had stayed for dinner, but the herbology Professor had to leave early. "Its part of why I'm staying. To help out tomorrow wherever its needed."

Hermione smiled, and looked back down at her paper. "Then we have basic weapons training. Tomorrow we'll decide who gets what weapon. Except Ginny," She added apolegetically.

"What!" The red head said, startled. "Why not!"

"Because you're not in fifth year," Mikeal said firmly. "I wasn't given my first weapon until I was eighteen. Besides, you currently have an object that can spit fireballs the size of Volkswagen's strapped to your arm. Stop being disappointed."

"A-Anyways," Hermione stuttered. "The rest of the day will be split between either cleaning the house or helping the Order with support things. That means Fred and George helping Mikeal and Mr. Weasley with their inventions," The two boys grinned. "And the rest of us dealing with distributing weapons and medicines."

"So," she said breathlessly. "Any questions?"

Dudley raised his hand. Hermione's eyes widened, but to her credit she barely hesitated. "Yes?"

"What about me? I don't have magic."

Mikeal nodded. "I know. You'll be training with me. And whatever wizard we can get our hands on."

"Or witch!" Tonks, Ginny, and Hermione added.

"Yeah yeah. Anyways, we both have somethings to learn, so it works out."

"Okay, Hermione, if you could pass out the schedules."

"Right."

As the schedules were handed out, Tonks noticed something. "Hermione? You might have made to many of these. There's enough for all of us, not just the kids."

Mikeal grinned. "I know. I asked her to. The adults are working out as well."

There a moment of silence.

"Ah... What?"

Mikeal sighed. "Look, no offense guys, but you aren't as fit as you used to be. The fact is, the first war is long behind you."

"Luckily," He added in a rush. "The same holds true for the Death Eaters. And if we can get every person in our army to the point where they can take someone down as easily with a fist as a wand, we'll have a huge advantage."

Moody raised his flask. "I agree with the boy."

"Now Moody-"

"He's right Arthur! All this easy living has made us soft and fat. Even the best Auror in the Ministry today is slower then the worst during the First War."

"Exactly." Mikeal added. "And the fact is, you've got the Muggle advantage. We have entire industries based entirely on getting people in fighting shape. Something Death Eaters would be loathe to use."

Sirius grinned. "Well I have nothing against looking the way I did in my youth. I was quite the charmer you know."

Remus smirked. "Yeah. Especially when we went to-"

"Don't." Sirius shuddered. "Just don't."

"What was her name again?" Remus teased. "Oh right, Steven! Did you ever call her back?"

"I'll belt you Remus, I swear!"

Later that night Harry laid in his bed, listening to the snores of his roommates. Though both were familiar, this was the first time he had ever heard Ron and Dudley's snoring overlap.

It wasn't any prettier really.

But Harry was feeling pretty good. His belly was full of the deliciousness that was Molly Weasley's cooking, he was lying down on a bed apparently made from the flesh of something very soft (He choose not to think about it to much) and had sweet new holster for his wand.

It helped keep all the darkness that was in his life at bay. Being among friends, joking around. He almost felt like himself again.

But then the meeting. And all of it came rushing back. His friends weren't there to have fun with him. They were gathering to protect the world from a violent killer. He hadn't escaped the Dursleys and entered safety. He was in more danger then ever. And now he knew that Voldemort could apparently dive into his head at any moment and use his body like a marionette.

His anxiety was worse then ever. And now he had apparently pulled Dudley into the mess that was his life. And every time Harry imagined Cedric, someone else pulled into something he shouldn't have been apart, it far to easy for the handsome young man to be replaced by the much larger Dudley, lying a cold and pale as death itself.

Harry sighed, remembering Mikeal telling him to stop angsting.

"If only it was that easy."

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."

Mikeal and Sirius sat across from each other in the room Sirius had once shared with his brother. Now he shared it with Mikeal, since both were technically refugees. And truthfully it was no problem. They got along rather well, and had become fast friends.

"_It is a little surreal," _Mikeal thought to himself as he looked across at the animagus. _"A month ago this guy was a character in a book. Now? A good friend."_

Sirius frowned, rolling the term around in his head. "You told me that Harry and I probably have it."

"Yeah. And I'm sure now. Harry has all classic symptoms. Trouble sleeping, increased anxiety, reliving the event through dreams." Mikeal sighed. And he's way to young for something like this."

Sirius groaned, laying on his back. "I promised James I would protect Harry. Now you're telling me he's messed up." Sirius groaned even louder at Mikeal's nod, and covered his face with his hands. "This is all my fault."

Mikeal coughed. "Actually it isn't. Another sign of PTSD is extreme guilt."

Sirius laughed. "Well that's good to know! Now I can release this weight on my soul, since it isn't real after all." Sirius looked Mikeal again. "How do you know so much about this anyway? I thought you were a soldier."

Mikeal sighed. "I was. And when I found I had it, I read every book I could about it."

Sirius laughed, a hollow empty laugh. "So we're all messed-up." He grinned. "Its good to have company I guess."

Mikeal grinned.

He looked at the clock. "We better hit the hay. Big day tomorrow."

It was only when they were settled in that Sirius remembered something.

"Mikeal?"

"Yeah?"

"Didn't you say that one symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was trouble sleeping?"

"..."

"Bollocks!"

Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed it!

I'll be honest. This chapter's ending is my favorite so far.

I was originally planning to have a moment where the kids get together and tell Harry about the stuff thats changed thanks to Mikeal. Then I realized that would suck.

Mikeal is not the main character of this story. He's one of many. Seriously, look at the Harry Potter character page on TVTropes. Its like forty pages long.

Which also makes hard to write group scenes when you're a fan. How the hell do I give every character the screentime they deserve while preserving the narrative! C'est la vie. I'll do what I got to do.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

****Authors Note: I wanted to show a brief moment in the future. I'll get back to showing the actual training and so forth, but for right now, a little action. Hope you enjoy!

**One Week Later, The home of the Carrow Siblings**

As a whole, death eaters didn't fear much. In fact, they reveled in the things most people in their right minds ran away from (Though there isn't much question about if Death Eaters are in their right mind).

And the house owned by Alecto and Amycus Carrow wasn't exactly an exception to the rule. Dark and debilitated, a two story building on top of a lonely hill far from civilization. It wasn't technically their house. But the Carrows had a firm belief that covered this exact thing.

"If we kill 'em, we own 'em!"

Basically.

And even then they slept. For the past few days the siblings had been driven nearly to death. Lord Voldemort had nearly lost his mind when he found out about Harry Potter's disappearance, and had everyone searching for the boy.

So now they slept, in a house filled with pictures of the Muggle family they had gleefully killed and replaced so they could live somewhere closer to their master. Assured that no one but Voldemort and his most trusted knew where he lay.

Unfortunately for them, Voldemort's inner circle had long since had a spy among them. Someone who knew just the person to get rid of a problem like the Carrows.

_BOOM_

The house shook from a sudden impact, bits of plaster shaking from the walls. Alecto shot up from her bed, head spinning left to right. Her brother was only seconds behind. He grumbled and reached for his wand.

"_Lumos._" The tip ignited, revealing the room that had once belonged to the two brothers of the family. He looked over to the adjacent bed.

"What was that?"

"I don't know," His sister scowled. "But we best not take chances." She pulled her own wand out and nodded at the window to the front yard. Yellow light flickered along the walls from the window as he got out of bed. He caustioly creeped up to the window, wand held like a sword. But when he got to the window and looked outside, he almost dropped it.

"What in Merlin's name?"

"What?" Alecto said. "What is it?"

She hurried next to him, and her jaw dropped.

In the front yard, a symbol in the shape of a giant phoenix swallowing a snake burned in the grass. A man stood before it, bold as brass. He wore a long overcoat with the sleeves rolled up, and pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. His hair was long and scraggly over his shoulders, and a wide, feral grin stretched his lips. He winked, and rushed into the house.

"Lets go!" Amycus yelled, rushing down from the window and downstairs with his sister at his heels. When they were halfway down the steps the front door was smashed open in a parody of the moment the Carrow's had invaded the house. Alecto saw a dark figure in the door way and let loose.

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

The flash of green light should have hit the man. She was sure of it. But then he _moved_. With more speed and fluidity then any man she had ever seen, he dodge the spell, leaping into the kitchen and out of sight.

"Hurry Amycus, kill him!"

Her sibling rushed into the kitchen and scanned the room. Then he frowned.

Where was this man? He had just seen him rush into the room. He couldn't have left already.

Amycus's nose wrinkled from a sudden stench. A piercing smell that he recognized from the rare times he had been in muggle cities.

"Gasoline?"

His eyes widened when he saw two grenades get thrown into the room from a well hidden door on his left.

"Oh."

_KABOOM_

The kitchen blew up in a fireball. Alecto was thrown back from the force of the explosion, into the main living room and onto a couch. She lay dazed, trying to understand what was happening. Then the panic set in.

"Amycus!"

She got up from the couch and ran towards the kitchen. Coughing on the black soot she looked around the once clean kitchen. "Amycus!"

"Alecto..."

She turned and had to choke down bile. Her brother was alive, barely. He was covered in blood, and had shrapnel from the grenades imbedded in his lower abdomen. He probably had some more shrapnel in his legs, but she couldn't tell.

They weren't there.

"Oh Merlin." She knelled at his side and held his head gently. "Amycus. Who did this? Who dares to attack us."

"I... I think-" He coughed up blood before speaking again. "I think it was a..." This time when he stopped, it was from sheer incomprehension. "A muggle."

Alecto nearly dropped him. "A muggle? A re you sure? Alecto are you sure?"

A voice spoke from another part of the house.

"Oh he's sure."

Alecto spun around, wand at the ready, but couldn't see anyone. In fact darkness filled the room now. All she could see was her own hands. She would have thought a Dementor was around, but the warmth in the house belied that theory.

"_Lumos!_"

Fear filled her when the spell did nothing to light her way.

"_Lumos! Lumos, Lumos, Lumos!_"

Panic set in, and she spun around frantically. "Show yourself you muggle filth! Coward!"

A bang sound behind her and she screamed.

"_Incendio!_"

The blast of flame did nothing to light the room, but a vicous smile crossed her lips at the scream that answered her.

"Did you like that you filthy piece of shit! I'm not done yet!" She gleefully raised her wand once more. "_Crucio!_"

A mangled scream came from a scarred and burnt throat. She kept the spell on. Until the scream finally began to turn into a whimper. Then, quiet.

Finally, one of the three people in the house died. And the darkness in the room left.

Alecto smiled at the burnt husk before her. "You learned you filthy muggle, to never fight your betters. A lesson you'll share in hell with all the other animals!"

With that, she turned back to where her brother had lain, and saw his body face down on the floor, his coat over his head.

"Amycus!" She ran over and grabbed his arm. "Brother, come on. We'll get you to a healer. You''ll be okay. You-Know-Who will help."

He said something, his voice muffled and indistinct.

"What? What is it Amycus?" She leaned her ear towards him, getting it close to his mouth.

She could barely hear the next whispered word.

"Idiot."

Her eyes widened in shock. It was then that she realized what should have been obvious. The body she was holding still had both legs.

She had time to see a small device crackle with energy in front of her. Then it was jabbed into her body, and 20,000 volts sent her to sleep.

She woke up moments later. She was strapped down on a metal chair in the master bedroom, back facing the door. Alecto struggled a moment, pulling at the ropes around her wrists and ankles.

"Damn you! Who are you! Show yourself! **WHERE IS MY BROTHER!**"

The cold silence of the walls seemed to mock her. She shuddered. For the first time in along time, something other then Voldemort had unnerved her. Then the door opened behind her. She tried to turn and look, but the ropes bound her still.

"Hallo. I'll be with you in a moment." The cheery voice said. He dragged something behind him to a corner of the room. Then, taking slow steps, he stepped in front of her.

Mikeal smiled at her. Alecto glared, hatred in her features.

"Nice to meet you."

"Shut your mouth you filthy muggle." She sneered. "You should be licking my boots. Aand you stand, bold-as-brass before someone you be slavering to serve." She chuckled. "Are all your race so pathetic?"

Mikeal shrugged. "Oh I'm sure there's other people out there worse or even better then me. Sadly I'm all they could spare." His grin only seemed to infuriate her more. "Well sad for you. Awesome for me."

"As for your brother..."

He walked up and grabbed the back of her chair, dodging her teeth as she tried to bite him. The sight that met her when he turned the chair around shocked her to her core.

There, lying in a corner, was Amycus. He was dead. And the cause was clear.

His skin, blackened and shiny, brought tears to her eyes. The positioning of his arms and what was left of her legs was clearly brought on by someone who had faced the _Crucio._

"No." Tears dropped down her cheeks. "Oh god. Amycus. No."

"Shut up."

All humor had left Mikeal voice. "You cry. But the truth is you have nothing to cry about. Because you did this."

Sadness fled to rage. "_I_ did this! It was you! You took his legs, you made me-"

"Ha! Made you? I _made_ you light a fire spell? I _made_ you torture a man to death?" He shook his head slowly. "No,no, no lady. You did this. You killed your brother. And he is not the first. All those unmagical people. The people born of them. The so called blood traiters. All of the ones you killed. That is why I came here."

Mikeal leaned in, joyless and merciless. "I beat you. A muggle. With two grenades, a firecraker, a stun gun, and some Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. I beat two some called pureblood wizards."

"You took us by surprise!"

"No. I cheated. And that was just a test."

"You." If anything she became angrier. "You killed my brother as part of a _test_!"

"No. This whole thing worked as a test. A happy side effect. But thats not all. I needed to send a message. I needed to know if I could even beat you. And I needed your brother dead."

He suddenly raised a sandwich from out of her sight. "I also needed a turkey melt, but that was more a happy surprise than anything."

With that he turned and began to walk out.

"Is that it? You kill my brother and leave alive! I will find you! And I will _murder you!_"

Mikeal shrugged, a wide grin on his face. "Truthfully, I just talked to you to see what you're like. But like I said. I need to send a message to Voldemort."

She sneered. "Oh don't worry. I won't tell him a thing. For though I serve him, I'll leave killing you for myself."

Mikeal grinned. "I've always wanted to say this." He took a dramatic bite from his sandwich and swallowed. "You're not the messenger," He slowly closed the door. "You're the message."

For a moment she was confused. And then, as 220 pound of various explosives detonated around her, she was dead.

Mikeal shuddered to himself. He had just entered the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. He reached into his pocket and took out the stun gun. He stared for a moment, almost sick. Then, in a fit of rage, he threw it with all of his strength at the wall. He stared for a moment, almost transfixed by the dent now in the wall before letting out a deep sigh.

"I imagined that a lot less... depressing."


End file.
